Underwater Raconteur Gifts

'Dad, I've joined the Police: The Taser Unit!'

Fish with a hook tells a good tale.

"I'll bet you have some stories."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

The one that got away

'Are we there yet?'

Fishing with God

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Son, I told you before: If you circle your prey for too long, you get dizzy...'

Easter Island is still a tourist site after the oceans rise due to global warming.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Non Thought For The Day.

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

'It was this big. I swear'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

Guide fish.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"He's a keeper!"

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

Octopus on Keys.

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

'I win!'

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'

'It's grossed over a billion dollars. Let's go see the Titanic wreck.'

Airplane Fish