Underwater Raconteur T-Shirts

'Dad, I've joined the Police: The Taser Unit!'

Fish with a hook tells a good tale.

"I'll bet you have some stories."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

The one that got away

'Are we there yet?'

Fishing with God

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'Son, I told you before: If you circle your prey for too long, you get dizzy...'

Easter Island is still a tourist site after the oceans rise due to global warming.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Non Thought For The Day.

Scuba: 'You call that a knot, now this is a knot.'

'It was this big. I swear'

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

"He's a keeper!"

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

Guide fish.

Octopus on Keys.

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

'I win!'

'To think we used to complain about a little flotsam and jetsam.'

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

Airplane Fish

"And you wanted to throw me back."

'As you can see, nothing up my sleeves...'