Undertaker Pillows

'If you're on a budget, we can curl him up.'

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'It's our newest cremation model. Tank sold separately.'

"I can help you guys form a union."

"Don't worry, we can handle all the arrangements for your husband. We can even make it look like an accident."

'I know you have a technical background, but here we call them caskets, not 'dropdown boxes.'

'I know he didn't pay his bills, but let's get the lien off the coffin.'

"He's in denial."

Gravestone: Jed T. Riggs - This wasn't my idea.

He never could fit in.

'I just don't understand why our Buy One Get One Free offer on coffins isn't popular!'

Funeral Directors: 'Morning Madam, why the long face?'

'Quit beating around the bush and just tell me how bad it is, doc'

Hearse with sign 'Body On Board'.

"I see dead people!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'It needs to be wider.' 'Ah ha! The plot thickens.'

'These shipping crates are more in line with our budget.'

If You Can Read This I'm Not Buried Yet

'What's this about you wanting a royalty for each client you bring to us?'

'...Or, if you're on a budget, there's always the La Brea tar pits.'

Dinosaur Funeral Director

'This modestly priced model says, 'He always seemed like an okay guy.''

"Even in life he always had his lawyer present."

"We also have urns, if you want to think outside the box."

Potato Funeral Planning

Turkey Funeral Planning

'Take this letter to the undertaker, and I'll send a copy to your family doctor.'

ZZZZZ comes from coffin.

'Ironically, our price increases are due to the high cost of living.'

'Ironically, our price increases are due to the high cost of living.'

Bless this Hearse

Meeting of ambulance and hearse.

"No, I don't want to take a bloody survey!"

My Child is an Honor Roll Student At the Alax School of Embalming.