Tech Upholder Pillows

"Deputy, round up a posse, I can't find my phone."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

'Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in tech stocks', meet Mr. 'You can't be too over-weighted in bio-tech'.'

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

John Bull presenting the building for the 1862 International Exhibition to Britannia

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

Man mistakes new ironclad warship for Noah's Ark

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

Gamers

GPS Systems.

'This is my new carbon fibre shell: Ten times as strong, fifty times as light...'

'Turkey dot com.'

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

'Don't get upset with a down market. Someone will come up with an app.'

Real High Tech, Inc: 'Under New Management. . . Under Newer Management.'

'It's for the office computer. It's been replaced.'

"What are you cooking for Thanksgiving, Tia Carmen?"

The before-you-know-it-I'll-be-obsolete computer co.

'Sir, we're txting the enemy!'

'Your last tech job offered generous options? So do we: Take it or leave it.'

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'

'It's so much better since business became computerized -- it was so hard to blame things on typewriters.'

STRIP Hambone: Living in the box the computer who replaced him came in

'You don't have to text to see if I'd like a cup of tea. I'm here just ask me.'

"Today we're learning how to simultaneously drive and talk on the cell phone!"

"I wish I hadn't rushed out and bought this model, your new model is much better!"

Passover wine - 'I will buy a decent cabaret next year.'

The Bicycle 'Ghost'