Undercover Socialite T-Shirts

"I hope my wife doesn't see this."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

Working from home to-do list.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Computer Head

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'