Suburban Socialite T-Shirts

"Mommy and Daddy and their friends are pretending they don't have horrible lives now."

'I don't care if the pot roast was a little dry, you had no business condemning poor Gloria to hell!'

'How very Fulham!'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

"My son took away my license." "Too many hit and runs." "Too many birthdays?"

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

'You look like a fun guy!'

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

Over 60's night - "You have beautiful teeth. What do you soak them in?"

'With Jesse Caldwell trasferring to another school, I've been promoted in the playground pecking order.'

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

"What do you think our husbands talk about when they're down the pub?"

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

"I always wanted power, but now, I don't know, the trappings of power may be enough."

How very Hampstead!

"Look at those drunken losers, that'll be us in twenty years."

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"This martini in canonical."

Senior Conversation Staters

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

Champagne Lifestyle on a lemonade income.