Neighborhood Socialite T-Shirts

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

'She's never been outspoken - and many have tried!'

'Welcome to the neighborhood, Doc....

'I told everyone I spent the night at your place. I just forgot to mention I was housesitting while you were out of town.'

'They're not the most popular couple in the street.'

'Can Spot come out and play?'

"What do you think our husbands talk about when they're down the pub?"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

Lobster a la Riseholme!

"I'm leaving Friday and we are all going to the club after work. Will you come?"

"My son took away my license." "Too many hit and runs." "Too many birthdays?"

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

The party, after you left

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

'I don't care if the pot roast was a little dry, you had no business condemning poor Gloria to hell!'

'You look like a fun guy!'

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

Over 60's night - "You have beautiful teeth. What do you soak them in?"

"Look at those drunken losers, that'll be us in twenty years."

"I always order the venti, 'for tomorrow we may die.'"

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

How very Hampstead!

'I've got to go, Mom - my playgroup called an emergency meeting,'

"This martini in canonical."

Coffee House - "Hyper Hour 6-7"