Suburbia Socialite T-Shirts

Suburban families on lawn.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Our detractors call it suburban sprawl, but I prefer thinking of our plan as 'sustainable over-development!'"

Children's Party

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Beware of the Lawn

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'