Undercover Smoker Gifts

Smoking club for dads who lie to their kids about not smoking

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

'So OK. . . I should quit smoking, but I scratched that off my bucket list years ago!'

'I'm just checking my e-cigarette.'

'I always come outside for a smoke.'

'They come down here to smoke.'

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

'Hey man that's a gas!'

Undercover Agent

"It's the kids! Quick! Stash the cigs!"

"I really love grandma and all, but she stinks of vape."

'I don't understand why people say I'm having trouble quitting.'

I smoked for thirty years but I've given it up....

'It's either a crank call or some idiot's set his loin cloth on fire.'

"I'm thinking of giving up social media. . . shouldn't be too difficult, I did quit smoking in the noughties."

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

Lady with facemask smoking

Drugs and Rock & Roll

Vicar blowing smoke halo.

'Let me get this straight. Your nicotine patch back fired on you?'

Don't you puff your vape at me

'I didn't know they sold e-snuff too...'

A place to smoke.

101 uses of a dead cat: pipe tamper.

'Not only do you need to quit smoking, but you need to quit doing it like THAT!' a guy is drawing off of cigarrette through his nostril.

Passive Aggressive

'Mom! Grandma is sneaking a smoke again!'

"A dying breed since the introduction of those electronic cigarettes."

Designated Smoking Area

Smoking as a time bomb.

"Here out West there are so many incredible places to smoke."

"Awww. He's not going to jump. He's just smoking."

'Talk about tough — he uses Surgeon-General's warning labels to roll his own.'

"'Grandad, why do you smoke?' Grandad coughs, and answers, 'I find it relaxing.'"