Secret Smoker Gifts

"It's the kids! Quick! Stash the cigs!"

'Mom! Grandma is sneaking a smoke again!'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

"Don't tell coach about this- he doesn't want us to be friends."

"Since I've gone over to roll-ups I find I can get by on just one cigarette a day!"

'I hate chick flicks!' 'Sniff...me too...'

'I always come outside for a smoke.'

'They come down here to smoke.'

"20% of medical opinion may change every five years...but it won't be the 20% that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you!"

Parson wishing to seem as though he is not drinking

Billy strip: bed pan.

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

"Of course I could tell you more about the job...but then I would have to kill you!"

I smoked for thirty years but I've given it up....

"I'm thinking of giving up social media. . . shouldn't be too difficult, I did quit smoking in the noughties."

"I bought this one behind my art consultant's back."

Lady with facemask smoking

"Sergio, you know I don't snoop...but I was in Baldo's room this morning...and I found this."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

101 uses of a dead cat: pipe tamper.

Deep in his heart James the accountant was an artist. Sometimes when he was alone in his office, he worked the keyboard like a pianist playing the Goldberg variations.

Smoking hookah pipe outside Lebanese restaurant.

Passive Aggressive

'Not only do you need to quit smoking, but you need to quit doing it like THAT!' a guy is drawing off of cigarrette through his nostril.

Designated Smoking Area

"Don't let anyone see how much we enjoy knitting."

"Awww. He's not going to jump. He's just smoking."

Smoking as a time bomb.

Designated Smoking Area

"Here out West there are so many incredible places to smoke."

'Talk about tough — he uses Surgeon-General's warning labels to roll his own.'

"'Grandad, why do you smoke?' Grandad coughs, and answers, 'I find it relaxing.'"

The quick drag Dragon. For use outside restaurants and theatres for a quick smoke.

Man emphasizing that he has quit