Undead Humor Fan Pillows

Night of the Zombonies.

Zombie standup

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I told you it would be useful.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

Pastry Hat

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

The bird feeder.

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"Fish finder."