Undead Humor Fan Pillows

Night of the Zombonies.

Zombie standup

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I told you it would be useful.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Pastry Hat

The Snooze Bar.

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

tRUMp, Pirate President

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

No, I don

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'