Undead Advocate Gifts

'That's discrimination!'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

Snow Devil

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"We need to think outside the pentangle."

Slavery Reparations

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

Route 666

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Factory Farmers.

'Let me guess - a toastmaster?'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'

"Wow! If global warming goes on it will cut our heating costs by 12 percent!"