Humane Advocate Gifts

"Poke my bunny with a stick, sir?"

Factory Farmers.

'Brian has been very frustrated about the raccoons getting into the garbage,'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Support group for sheep.

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

"I have no thumbs."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

The Golfing Accident

Yeah, I know what you're talking about: humans have an unhealthy interest in my horn too...

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

dog vs UFO...

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."