Animal Advocate Gifts

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

"E"

"Defunding increases aggression."

'To demonstrate that it's nothing personal I brought you some pills for the headache.'

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'So that's 3 ham and cheese omelets...one order without cheese, one without ham, and another without eggs.'

'We can't stay here, and your father has connections in China.'

Depressed Pets

Animals Testing on Humans: 'Don't worry, they don't feel pain the way we do.'

Fish trying to get food.

"Bad news. The mailman is going to attend the parole-board hearing."

'Good news! Our lobbyist got us on the endangered species list.'

Animal to human transplant - 'This is a consent form.'

'Pay back time on the ranch'

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

'Are you aware that you have suffered irreparable pain and distress due to this company's discriminatory policies.'

'All I'm saying is that the 'good dog' 'bad dog' labels have a real shame-based ring to them!'

'I'm just checking this deoderant wasn't tested on anyone I know...'

Cat in bandages.

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

"Protect your family, protect your yard, and stop obsessing about port security."

'Then, as you can see, we give them some multiple choice tests.'

'I'm gay.'

"After they've foudn a cure, will you continue in the field of medical research?"

'You mean you're going to do a test on a guinea pig now?'

Aren't we entitled to compensation, since they stole twittering and tweets from us?'

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

Endangered waterfowl with sign: 'Will work for habitat.'

'Our story is pretty typical. We met in the lab.'

'Okay, this guy isn't talking. You can kill the headlights Sam.'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."