Animal Advocate Gifts

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"This human experiment has gone on long enough. Give the hippos control."

"E"

"Defunding increases aggression."

"Your offer to compromise has been rejected and your dog has been cast out."

'To demonstrate that it's nothing personal I brought you some pills for the headache.'

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'We can't stay here, and your father has connections in China.'

Depressed Pets

Animals Testing on Humans: 'Don't worry, they don't feel pain the way we do.'

Fish trying to get food.

"Bad news. The mailman is going to attend the parole-board hearing."

Animal to human transplant - 'This is a consent form.'

'Good news! Our lobbyist got us on the endangered species list.'

'Pay back time on the ranch'

'Are you aware that you have suffered irreparable pain and distress due to this company's discriminatory policies.'

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

'All I'm saying is that the 'good dog' 'bad dog' labels have a real shame-based ring to them!'

"Protect your family, protect your yard, and stop obsessing about port security."

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

Cat in bandages.

'I'm just checking this deoderant wasn't tested on anyone I know...'

'Then, as you can see, we give them some multiple choice tests.'

'You mean you're going to do a test on a guinea pig now?'

"After they've foudn a cure, will you continue in the field of medical research?"

'I feel better today too, but around here I've learned not to be too optimistic.'

'I'm gay.'

Endangered waterfowl with sign: 'Will work for habitat.'

'Okay, this guy isn't talking. You can kill the headlights Sam.'

'Our story is pretty typical. We met in the lab.'

The Birth Of A Vegetarian

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Elephant Hunting