Animal Advocacy Gifts

'Honestly, Clara, you know I don't like auctions anyway, but this...!'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

A turkey holds up a sign reading "Repent!"

You got a phone call from who? From a "Mrs. Click-Whistle-Chirp." She's a dolphin. She wanted us to know that all the sea creatures and all the land mammals have banded together … to demand that we not elect Donald Trump. They haven't felt this compelled to speak to us since they convinced Noah to build that ark. I guess there are two sides to every story. They'd also like us to know "Flipper" and "Gentle Ben" were stereotyped.

"Santa, sorry for the soy milk and vegan fig bars - Caleb."

"Nothing we can do. The rat has been named the state rodent."

Metro transit authorities ban pets. However Metro pets retaliate forcefully.

"I thought they only used the ink for protection..."

Down with leather bookbinding. Read paperbacks.

Baby Pigskins

'Never mind me, save the whales'

"And what's the safe word?"

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

Australia & California Wildlife Burned

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Support group for sheep.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'