Advocate Animal Gifts

"It's non-negotiable."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Support group for sheep.

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

dog vs UFO...

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

The Golfing Accident

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."