Advocate Animal Gifts

"It's non-negotiable."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

Support group for sheep.

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

dog vs UFO...

The Golfing Accident

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."