Animal Welfare Advocate Gifts

"We need to talk about your diet."

'I told you we should have removed his wolf teeth!'

Lab rat dreams.

'Okay, so his hair is gone! But look how great his SKIN looks!'

'I never tell a dog breeder that she's wrong...'

Pet Food store, Sign reads: Caution Guard Dog.

'I dreamed last night that the animal rights people are getting us family allowances!'

Hot dogs

'And why do you want to change your name to 'Stupid'?'

'Damn liberals!'

"Hi, Mary. I'm Dr. Ed. I'm here to talk to you about an alternative procedure we have for bum legs."

'What are we going to do about these grooming parlors...'

'He doesn't like the animals to get bored.'

"It's an attempt to make the whole process less stressful on the animals."

'Larry? Remember how we were criticizing the Journal...

Battery Hens.

'She has to stay inside. She just had her nails done.'

"Looks like ol' Bucky's fallen way below us on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs."

Our Products Are Not Tested On Real Animals

The Delusional World of the Free-Range Chicken

'We have some news about the cattle that escaped yesterday. They are seeking asylum in the Indian Embassy.'

'You're required to have on board, 1 veterinarian for every 160 animals, 1 caretaker for every 250 animals, 1 supervisor for every...'

'You realize, of course, that although I do many soundness exams, my experience with dromedaries is relatively limited?"

Dangle the Dog

'Now here's a practice-building therapeutic diet...

'So that night, after you ordered no more table scraps...

'Everyone I meet that's nice is neutered.'

'have you been battering fish?'

'I pledge to fight for the right of every citizen to life, liberty...'

"I've no idea who the father is, I didn't get a look at his face"

Dog under the table

'The news was good, but it hasn't done a thing for my figure.'

'Well, I can't see spending any money on him, but if you want to fix him up as an experiment...

'As a result of the accident several of the dogs had to be put down.'

'Where is your glove? When you went in you were wearing a glove!'