Undead Advocate Pillows

'That's discrimination!'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Snow Devil

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

Slavery Reparations

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

Route 666

"Dave, quick word about religious symbols in the workplace..."

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

Religious texts from heaven and hell find common ground...they are made in China.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"Where do you see yourself in five years? Haha, just kidding!"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Let me guess - a toastmaster?'

Factory Farmers.

'I'm putting you in charge of past due accounts.'

"Can I see that 'National Law Journal' when you're through with it?"

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

"You had me at hell."