Unconventional Spirit Gifts

"Normal? That's just a setting on a dryer."

The Hammer

Romance of Radio Astronomy

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...

Storage Unit of Love

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

"Francine, you're a rebel!"

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

"You're not supposed to throw tinned rice!"

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

Stun-gun target practice.

"How much do you want off the top?"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"You're absolutely sure you want to go wireless?"

'I invented them yesterday and Junior already has them souped up.'

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.

Modern Eureka Moments

"We'd like to promote the concept of a nontraditional Thanksgiving."

'Well, well, well, looks like we've got ourselves a troublemaker.'

Two cavemen are sat at the patent attorney each with half a wheel.

"I must warn you that the house is haunted but the ghost are mostly interested in doing sexy ceramics."

"I'm a religious nut."

'Outré!'

"He loved the beach."

"People extra suck"

Woman playing piano with her feet.

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

"Have I got a girl for you!"

'Wow! Is it Valentine's Day already?'