Unconventional Requests Gifts

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"Surprise!"

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

A man looking askance at a child on a tank-like skateboard

Storage Unit of Love

"I always ask for a pony for my birthday. I find it gives the most bargaining room."

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

A serpent is entering and exiting cloth in an interesting fashion.

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"I knew it was unnatural to jump that high out of water."

Frank Loved Bubblewrap

Spoonstock.

"How much do you want off the top?"

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

'I only do biometric readings now.'

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

"What?!... You said you wanted to holiday somewhere different this year!"

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

"You are going on a long journey. . ."

'Where do you see yourself in 24 hours?'

Let's Get the Band Back Together

Lester P. Dunwoody. A mysteriously happy square peg in a round hole that none of us can figure out.

Island Entrance Fee