Unconventional Approach Lover Gifts

'I like your initiative. You've got the job.'

"I think it's about time you started thinking outside of the box Harold."

Romance of Radio Astronomy

'Oh Ernie, you're a louse, but I love you.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'Isn't it romantic, being married in the same alley where we first met eight months ago?'

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

Zombie Christmas

Having heard good things about it, Carlos decides to try the Phlegmish School of painting.

'I'm looking for a job where I get free concert tickets.'

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

Jill was thrilled to receive a gift from Interflora, the romantic margarine delivery service.

"'Meaning'? Hahahahaha..."

Spoonstock.

"O.K., so we'll have sex and if that works out we'll go for a nice dinner and maybe a movie."

"It's terribly old fashioned I admit, but I've fallen for a white middle class, male."

"Wow! So that was the bagel setting."

"Honestly larry, I don't want a bronze Adonis. I much prefer a burnt umber twiglet"

The Grim Raker

'I know it's a cry for help, but couldn't you just, like, say, 'Help?''

"Our grey wedding dress is quite a smash with young women who have learned to say goodbye to unrealistic expectations."

"Remember, bring it all back within two weeks and I'll refund your deposit."

"People aren't real."

101 uses of a dead cat: window cleaning brush.

The Artists Fall-Back Career 'It's an easy gig to get once you stop waxing.'

Fish who dropped out of the school

'Outré!'

My job does not define me.

Wedding nose ring

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife. You may torture the bride.'

'Why are you all of a sudden painting a huge knife dripping with blood?'

"Have I got a girl for you!"

'Wow! Is it Valentine's Day already?'