Uncle With A Plan Pillows

'Save us!'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Dog traps the postman.

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

You need a new reading light

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

Pianist.

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

President Grant's Civil Service Reform is not to the Taste of Either Party, despite Professed Enthusiasm

With Jury Duty for All

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"'Golden' years, my a**...."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.