Uncle With A Plan Gifts

'Save us!'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

Dog traps the postman.

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

You need a new reading light

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

Pianist.

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

Mobile Phones

With Jury Duty for All

President Grant's Civil Service Reform is not to the Taste of Either Party, despite Professed Enthusiasm

"'Golden' years, my a**...."

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.