Politically Opinionated Uncle Gifts

"Edgar's very politically engaged ever since he began using his vote as an anger management tool."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'Save us!'

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Dog traps the postman.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

You need a new reading light

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Pianist.

President Grant's Civil Service Reform is not to the Taste of Either Party, despite Professed Enthusiasm

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"'Golden' years, my a**...."

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Russia's always bigger than you think."

'What d'you mean-you THINK you've seen this before-you've seen EVERYTHING before!'

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

'I realize it's not much of a war, but it's all we can afford right now.'