Uncle Who Loves Tales Gifts

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Don Quixote

Falstaff

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Dog traps the postman.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"I crawl that I may savor the richness and diversity of people and places along the way."

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"Russia's always bigger than you think."

'Those were the days, eh, Grandpa?'

'I realize it's not much of a war, but it's all we can afford right now.'

"I rise in opposition to this bill..."

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

"My report is on the three branches of government - checks, balances, and subpoenas."

Ugly sisters

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

The Windmill Gets Attacked (Don Quixote).

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

Adam sees note from Eve: Gone for a walk. Your dinner's in the apple tree.

"Alexa, Alexa on the wall..."