Uncle Who Loves Tales T-Shirts

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Don Quixote

Falstaff

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

Dog traps the postman.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

"Let's try one with your hand tucked into your shirt."

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

Lesser Known Historical Figures: The Steno at the First Thanksgiving Dinner.

"Russia's always bigger than you think."

"I crawl that I may savor the richness and diversity of people and places along the way."

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

'Those were the days, eh, Grandpa?'

'I realize it's not much of a war, but it's all we can afford right now.'

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

"I rise in opposition to this bill..."

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

"My report is on the three branches of government - checks, balances, and subpoenas."

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

Boris Johnson related to Mummy

Ugly sisters

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

The Windmill Gets Attacked (Don Quixote).

Adam sees note from Eve: Gone for a walk. Your dinner's in the apple tree.

"Alexa, Alexa on the wall..."

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'