Umbilical Cord Philosophers Gifts

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

I think, theerfore I am underpaid

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

A deadline comes to chew up a worker.

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

'Think' 'But not too much'

Flea Philosophy.

Thinking outside the cubicle

"He can give you five minutes if you can find him."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

'Our company hasn't changed much over the years. Most ideas still come from the top.'

Time Clock.

"I worry about you, Dinkins. . . you seem to be losing the big picture."

'My therapist defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.'

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"What time is it mentally?"

"Appointments. Disappointments."

worker sign: weeks to retirement changable 2078,

'Speak up, Fenwick - I can hardly hear you!'

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'