Ultimatum Giver Gifts

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

'Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean I can't always be right.'

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

Dr. Simon had a hard time delivering his speech, what with the constant murmur in the room

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

"Let's make it a few minutes longer and add more inside jokes."

"Unaccustomed as I am to public squeaking…"

"All in favor of a cap on our liability?"

"It's just that your acts of kindness are so random."

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

'These days my approach is to start with the Booker Prize acceptance speech and work backwards...'

'Blah, blah, blah....'

"We're cutting costs by recycling his hot air."

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

'You're on my soapbox !'

"Men are animals! Yes, but some make lovely pets."

Great coachees recognise great coaches.

"I accept this award...for my team...who are cheering way too loudly."

Dye now, pay later!