Ultimatum Gifts

"Give me one more chance, Rachel. I'll go straight, and quit my lawyerin' ways."

Mixed Doubles.

"If we only repeat what humans say whenever they're nearby... they won't realize we're aliens plotting to take over the planet."

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

'Being in love with you makes me feel young again, Doris. Will you wait while I go play on the swings?'

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

PJ Parties

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

'The roller coaster was great! -- How was the bungee jump?'

"All in favor of a cap on our liability?"

'Feeding Frenzy at my place on Sunday: It's my birthday...'

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

'CROOOAX! If we ever want to sell this damned parrot, we better not anybody what he has done to his previous owners... CROOOAX! If we ever want...'

I hate the spring ritual of not being able to wear a bulky sweater to cover the weight I've gained during the winter.

"I don’t get it – I’ve never even seen ‘mail.’"

Tongue 'Depressors'

"This to you left me says you want a wok."

'I know you're a deadly sin and everything, but I don't know...I still like hanging around with you anyway.'

"Size 16? Sorry, I thought you said 61."

Asap's Fables.

"He took an Alka-Seltzer and now he thinks he’s sparkling."

'Isn't Carl a scream? He's doing his garden hose imitation again!'

The Game Man: And Trying Imitations which look nothing like the real ones.

"Any ideas? I'm terrible with cursive writing."

'I say! Fancy a date, old thing?'

"I said fire not shoot."

"I asked you to buy a calendar for the wall. A CALENDAR."