Marriage Ultimatum Gifts

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

Parson and abandoned husband

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

'We need to talk.'

"Is everything ok robert? You seem to be a little distant recently."

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"So you have a communication problem! Have you tried powerpoint?"

'I now pronounce you husband and wife. Let the nagging begin.'

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Say those three little words you think I need to hear."

"Death, death, death! That's all he ever talks about!"

"You need a husband transplant"

"... And the only time he takes me out, is to bring me here!"

"Give me one more chance, Rachel. I'll go straight, and quit my lawyerin' ways."

'A lot of domestic accidents could be prevented -- take marriage, for instance....'