Marriage Ultimatum Gifts

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"Whoa! Was that today?"

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

Parson and abandoned husband

'It's my wedding ring: My wife insists I wear it here to stop me flirting with other females...'

"Well, it's the same old story, we just don't squark anymore."

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

Health and Safety to Ban Marriage

'We need to talk.'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"I admire your devotion to duty."

"So you have a communication problem! Have you tried powerpoint?"

"Do you promise to love and be faithful to each other for the next 28 days and then see where it goes from there?"

"Is everything ok robert? You seem to be a little distant recently."

'I now pronounce you husband and wife. Let the nagging begin.'

The End is Near...You Wish.

"Say those three little words you think I need to hear."

"Death, death, death! That's all he ever talks about!"

'A lot of domestic accidents could be prevented -- take marriage, for instance....'

"... And the only time he takes me out, is to bring me here!"

"Give me one more chance, Rachel. I'll go straight, and quit my lawyerin' ways."

"That's it for assets. For liabilities, I suppose I should start with her."