Ultimate Dismissal Diarist Gifts

Man on death bed, hand in clouds through window like umpires, 'The final out'

'Sorry, but we're not compatible, Jim. You keep a diary, and I blog on the Internet.'

Professional woman in pub

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

Collected works

"What was the point of writing a blog that nobody else could read?"

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

The hero dramatically rides off into the sunset.

"Of course I try to communicate with him - I update my blog almost daily."

Snake Blogging,

'Hurry up, I'm dying to use the blog'

"It started out as the Great American Novel. Then The Great American Screenplay. . . Short Story. . . Blog Post. . . And now I've got it edited down to a Tweet."

'When the airport said they were booking us on a different flight, I thouoght we'd still be going to Albuquerque!'

Cooking Contest. I hear you can make tempura out of anything. Yep -- Anything you can do, I can do battered!

"I'm doing a think piece on me."

'If you want to brag about yourself, start a blog.'

'All my opinions are posted on my online blog.'

'Dear Diary, well, you never know. Today I led the stampede. Imagine my surprise when I found myself out there in front, all alone. Dreams to still come true...sometimes.'

We all have our little problems, Alansky. Unfortunately, you're one of those who gets fired for them.

Anais Nin.

Happiness is blogging the first days of summer.

'Oh, I am SO going to put this on my blog!'

'Quit fooling with that stupid blog and do some REAL writing!'

'Can my own tweets be used against me?'

Like every Tuesday, Dirk spends the evening working on his biography on Wikipedia.

"I'm bored. I think I'll post something online that destroys my career prospects."

"I've learned to express my anger through my writing instead."

"Dear diary, what the heck did you do with my car keys?!"

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

'But that's the baby you took in.'

Couple in bed. Man says: 'Are you BLOGGING this?'

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

"It seems that people don't notice me anymore..."