Ufo Ridiculer Gifts

It says, 'Billions of Babies on Board.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Alien Snowmen

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

Alien Assumption

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

'Damn, I'm out of earshot!'

Anywhere but here

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Cosmonaughty

Alien Spaceship Crashes - On Halloween. House owner think he is trick or treating.

Man reads note left by wife; 'I've been abducted by aliens. Your dinner is on the planet Zygon 4.'

"And where've you been for the last four moons? Out with your daft pals making silly corn circles I suppose!"

'Let's throw them off the trail -- Let's land in Roswell, GEORGIA!'

'To be quite honest, this isn't what I expected from an alien abduction.'

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

'Good afternoon, Earthling -- I represent the 'Encyclopedia Galactica,' and....'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"I used to believe in astrology, UFO's, reincarnation, ESP, and all that stuff - in a former life, of course."