Udderly Inspired Gifts

Cow writer.

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

Miniature Cattle Fanciers

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

'Oi! We're your nipples you idiot!'

Who are you?

"Don't leave me dangling!"

'Be gentle with me!'

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

"I've given up on trying to improve the quality of my milk: It just ends up mixed with milk from other cows in a big vat..."

"We were all given motivational videos at work today. All it shows is our boss shouting and sacking people."

Dairy. You're called "ruminants" because you chew your cud --- It's not an excuse to overthink everything.

"Got milk?"

Two cows are admiring a female cow that has an extra udder - 'Hey Colin... check out Barbara's awesome moob job!'

'MILK ME!'

Cow Piercing.

I told you before, never call me on this number!

Cheese maker

Bar Code Cows.

Don't get wet.

"Congratulations on winning the milking contest."

"Did we really need a company newsletter?"

Legs are crossed and the udders are folowing suit.

"I've had this sort of dragging feeling all day!"