Typing Whiz Gifts

'You must have a lot of untapped potential.'

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Multi-tasking.

Dog Park

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Nerd tryouts.

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Sauce for the Goose

"You keep impeccable time."

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'My dog ate my computer.'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"It's a swearbox."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

Math Teacher

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.