Typewriter Nostalgist Gifts

Sales Secretary

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"Before texting we had to write letters by hand, and before emojis we honestly just bottled up our emotions."

"It's very sweet of you to visit him. Mr. Mainframe doen't get out much since the desktops came in."

"Call Harris back from retirement and ask him how we did things around here before computers."

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

"Go ahead and laugh, but this baby hasn't crashed since 1961."

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

Man has thrown his computer aside and is writing on a typewriter.

Social Media

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

Old Book Smell

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

"I've had a tip off that someone on the team has been using email."

Progression of human writing, from chisled stone to computers until 2000 when the computer has blown up

"Winter must be coming. The people in my novel are starting to wear mittens."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"Television sets evolved from animals. My randpop remembers when they had rabbit ears!"

Abandoned Vehicles Along The Information Superhighway.

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

'This week's column is going to be about Writer's Block, and it's...'

'No fax paper? Ok, you'll have to ride for help.'

A writer working on a typewriter is wearing a shirt with William Shakespeare's face on it.

'Well yes, it is a Jurassic model...OK, I'll knock off two bucks.'

'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'