Twilight Twister T-Shirts

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"

"I love this time of day."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Astronaut runs on spinning asteroid to reach space shuttle's tether.

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Curtsey

The Cricketer and the Golfer

Hanukkah tree

'Aunty Em!...Toto!...It's a twister...It's a twister!'

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Jack and the Beanstalk.

"No, wait. What if the cop character is the murderer, and the mobster guy is completely innocent?"

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

Elevator choices: Up, Down, Different Narrative.

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'I can't seem to find the 'surprise' ending.'

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

"I agree, Glenn. The first sentence needs to hook the reader."