Twilight Traveler Gifts

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Desert Island Meals.

"Meet the scribe"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Historical memory is on life support.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Pina Coladas

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Time for vacation, time for work.

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

Sundial Time

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"I don't know who you are!"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."