Twilight Traveler Gifts

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Desert Island Meals.

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

The Missing Sock Returns

"We're following Carrot Top."

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Pina Coladas

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

Sundial Time

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'