Tweezer Collectors T-Shirts

"I started plucking my eyebrows, and I couldn't stop..."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Easter Candy Island.

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

Doulton Canada Geese

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

Duck in a bathtub

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

"Whoever said 'There's nothing new under the sun' first, was a hypocrite."

'He's in charge of out 'Lost-and-Buried' department.'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

"I heard that Santa's cutting out the 30% employee discount on toys."

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'Please stop...it reminds me too much of the markets.'

Groucho Glasses Eye Test

'I'm quit buying Trevor the kiddie meal - he'd play with the food and eat the toy.'

'Oh my God, we've been burgle- ... oh wait, I just remembered, we've got children.'

I need a ten-letter word for a collector of inexpensive sports memorabilia. A "baublehead."

Antique oriental carpets.

Children must be accompanied by an adult.

"Of course we're still friends, but Eddie has the newest video game system....yours is three months old!"

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

Mr. & Mrs. Putty get dream home.

"I hate recalls."

"...Well, where was he when I needed the red Power Ranger?"

"Now you're thinking outside the box!"