Tweets More Than They Breathe Pillows

"I made the mistake of having more twitter followers than the king."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

Facelift Book.

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"And then she quote-tweeted my retweet of her subtweet, and the rest, as they say, is history."

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

Man and bird

"The source of all those mystery tweets."

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

'He's just de-man's-best-friended me.'

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'Your texting addiction sticks out like a sore thumb.'

Love at first text.

"I've tricked all my squirmy patients into staying still by telling them we're doing the mannequin challenge."

The twittering president.

"You don’t have to buy everything you see on Instagram."

'If it's any consolation, us getting sent to the Principal's office is now trending on Twitter.'

The Conversation Cafe

'I got the ain't nobody reading my tweets blues.'