Tweeting Gourmand Pillows

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Party Animals.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Cook in the cookery section.

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Bookworm group

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

Dijon Vu

Capturing a Cook

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

"At this time, if everyone would please switch their palates to airplane mode."

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

"Before I serve seconds I'd like everyone to take out their phones and complete a short survey rating Barbara's fig-nut stuffing."

Fast Food

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

No Flash Photography of Meals

'I just wish I'd learned how to tweet Italian before we came.'

"May I suggest a wine and a filter setting?"

French BookstoreCafe.

Chicken Soup for the Lunch.

'Enjoy? Don't tell me what to do.'

"If you'll excuse me, my adventurous palate is at constant war with my delicate ecosystem of gut bacteria."

"I'm leaving politics so I can spend more quality tweeting-time with my family."

'I didn't say your meal wouldn't contain fat. I said the fat would be free.'

'Phoning or non phoning?'