Tweeting Gourmand Gifts

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Party Animals.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

Cook in the cookery section.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Bookworm group

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Tell you what, just tweet me your order when you're ready."

Menu. Specials. Soups. Salads. Drinks. You can't call this an internet cafe just because you have pull-down menus.

Dijon Vu

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

Capturing a Cook

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

"At this time, if everyone would please switch their palates to airplane mode."

"Before I serve seconds I'd like everyone to take out their phones and complete a short survey rating Barbara's fig-nut stuffing."

Fast Food

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

No Flash Photography of Meals

'I just wish I'd learned how to tweet Italian before we came.'

'Tom Jones is still my favorite movie. It has the most explicit eating.'

"May I suggest a wine and a filter setting?"

Chicken Soup for the Lunch.

'Enjoy? Don't tell me what to do.'

"If you'll excuse me, my adventurous palate is at constant war with my delicate ecosystem of gut bacteria."

French BookstoreCafe.

"I'm leaving politics so I can spend more quality tweeting-time with my family."

'I didn't say your meal wouldn't contain fat. I said the fat would be free.'