Tweet-loving Foodie Gifts

"Tell you what, just tweet me your order when you're ready."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Your lobster was off!

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'It's my favorite.'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"What would you recommend pairing with the school of cod fish?"

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

Mediterranean Martini

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

'Today's entrees are the Breast with Thyme, and the Wurst with Thyme.'

"They're doing wonderful things with food I hate."