Instagram Gourmand Gifts

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

Menu. Specials. Soups. Salads. Drinks. You can't call this an internet cafe just because you have pull-down menus.

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Dijon Vu

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"The food was terrible, but my wife said it photographed well."

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

"Cemetery Pie"

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

Capturing a Cook

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."