Instagram Gourmand T-Shirts

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"It's Chicken Mole!"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Just one more choccy...

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"The food was terrible, but my wife said it photographed well."

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

"Cemetery Pie"

Capturing a Cook

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

"I don't care how much I own – there's still something unsatisfying about digital Girl Scout Thin Mints."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"Before I serve seconds I'd like everyone to take out their phones and complete a short survey rating Barbara's fig-nut stuffing."

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'