Tweet Tacticians Pillows

"Can you fit our annual report into 140 characters or less?"

Lynching on social media

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"That was a rumor day."

Man and bird

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

"It has come to my attention that there's a traitor in our midst."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

Adult Education Evening Class: How to sort your rubbish.

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

"Buy on the dip, ignore the blip, and sell before the bubble bursts."

"I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot."

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

Stone Age

They're inflatable trade barriers!

The invisible hand of the marketplace.

Wi-Fi password?

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

What happened to your market share? Let me peel the 'Made In China' sticker off my new crystal ball and I'll tell you.