Tweet-savvy Status-seeker Gifts

Elon Musk Twitter Takeover

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Giraffe Selfie

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

"#notguilty."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

Early Learning Today

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

Ornithologist

Social Media

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"I don't mind the punishment, Mother, but I don't want to see this on YouTube!"

Harold Pinterest

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"You're all hashtag summarily dismissed."

"Hang in there, pal. I launched a crowdfunding website for you."

All You Can Tweet Restaurant.

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

Books: Bartlett's Familiar Retweets

Man and bird

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'You post intimate details on Facebook, you want to be followed on Twitter, you send out dozens of selfies a day, yet you're paranoid about your computer's camera?'