Tweet Critic Pillows

"Your twitter account is phenomenal. Each tweet is limited to 140 characters, but it seems much longer."

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

"Amateur!"

Hate Platforms

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

The Proust of Twitter

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

Bird Tweet.

"Will follow you on social media for food."

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

tRUMp, Pirate President

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

Elon Musk Ditches Twitter Logo

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

Collected works

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

Trump Tells Greta to "Chill" Even Though The Earth Isn't

"And me without a Twitter account."

USA 2030

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

Twitter Prison

An animal has attacked a child. It's very important to the world that you immediately express a bad opinion online.

Musk's Twitter