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The Modern Tourist

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

Tourists in Egypt

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

Off to see the world

Vaccination Passport

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

A white collar cow.

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

Busking during a pandemic

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

'Anything to declare?'

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.