Tv Toggle Expert Gifts

"Well, folks, it looks as if Ole Mich is really getting trounced by those Reds.

"Have you tried turning it off and back on?"

"And the tech guy said not to worry if I lost my phone. There's an app for that..."

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'And this is where they switched to High Definition.'

TV Repair 101.

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

"When I know he's had a rough day, I always put a few drops of lavender on the TV remote before he gets home."

Customer to TV repair man - "Thank god you got here. I was beginning to wander around."

3D HD TV

"So THIS is where all the lost remote controls end up..!"

Nostalgia TV.

'Hey! You forgot the TV!'

'The shows will look the same, but the commercials appear in 3-D high definition.'

Space alien enters TV store to have his antennas adjusted.

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'The next door neighbor's dang psychic waves keep interfering with my reception.'

Death by Television

"Touch that control and I'll punch your lights out..."

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

TV Dinners: 'Antenna, cable, satellite dish,'

'I can fix the fuzziness and the vertical hold, but I can't do anything about Chris Matthews.'

'Sacked? Just like that - with no explanation?'

"It went blank, then I missed Oprah, figure out the rest!"

'That's not a window... that's my large screen TV!'

I just watched a documentary about the dangers of drinking and it petrified me. No more TV for me!

'Industrial Real Estate' fine tuning 'Distribution'

'Adjustment of your picture is necessary - call your repairman.'

'While you're back there, can you remove the gratuitous violence?'

'There's nothing wrong with it - life's like that out there nowadays.'

"I think it's high definition, is too high."

'It's swearing back at you.'