Tv Time Negotiator Pillows

"Please! Just let me stay up one more hour. Then I promise I'll fall asleep right here in front of the TV."

"I wish you wouldn't interrupt when we're trying to decide which channel to watch"

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'But I'm not tired yet!!!'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Houston, we have a problem!"

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

"No screen time means more scream time."

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

'What do you mean, it's good for me and I'll like it? That sounds like a contradiction in terms.'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

"When I know he's had a rough day, I always put a few drops of lavender on the TV remote before he gets home."

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'But I can't go to bed yet, Mom. Kids watch an average of seven hours of TV a day, and I've only watched five and a half hours.'

'Early to bed and early to rise. I like a saying with an escape clause.'

'Dickson, how many times do I have to tell you, don't start out with the price!'

"When you're President, then you can watch six hours of television a day."

...and don't forget to ask them for more overtime.

Building a house.

"Our TV has a 'fair' feature. It knows when you've dominated the TV, so it automatically switches over to my show."

"But I'm not even tir..."

"Is that the corporate rate?"

"No, no, boy. It's Tuesday. Wednesdays are your nights to sleep on the big bed."

"You're right. I should go outside and play. Buy me a laptop, and I will."

If you have 5 dogs, 3 will be asleep.

"I say it's genetically altered, and I say the hell with it."

Okay, little miss I-Hate-Everything-We're-Having-For-Dinner, do want the pouting or non-pouting section?

'I'll tell you where I bought the murder weapon in exchange for immunity.'

"Here's the plan. I use white noise to cover your snoring and you use earplugs to cover the white noise."